This dude is weird

Okay . . . here is the story from the Galway paper:

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.

and more:

“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”

But there is a line at the end of the story that is really weird shit, I mean do they really need this:

He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837.

Cemetery in HDR

This photo was sent to me so I do not know who to thank.

Nice Shot: 5

Another one from the bums:
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man
looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I
mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill
and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his
wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the
barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky.

He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him
off. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass
grill for one little weenie?"

3 More

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Our Favorite Sport

The Gang of 6 has decided after very little argument that their favorite spectator sport is Women's beach Volleyball. As you can see above there are obvious reasons for this. Like the way teams are identified.












We are very impressed by the cheerleading squads that show up at some of the International events. Like this squad at an event in Switzerland, or somewhere like that. We didn't know there were beaches in Switzerland, but that's O.K.












We like the "ready for play" position of the players.













Another shot of the Gang of 6's favorite international team, the Brasilian Women. They all seem to have the appropriate assets for the sport. Here's to the finest sport on the planet. We just don't understand why it isn't more popular.

Bad Parking:

Speaking of Vintage

Here's a nice vintage model:
___________________________________________

A priest is pulled over for speeding . The trooper sees an empty wine bottle on the passenger seat and asks , "Father , have you been drinking ?"

" Just water ," replies the priest .

The trooper asks ," Then why do I smell wine on your breath ?"

The priest grabs the bottle , sniffs it , and says " Oh Lord ! He's done it again !

U.S.S. Ronald Reagen:

[Flyby over the USS Ronald Reagen]

"Four good leads"

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap .

The psychiatrist says , "Well , I can clearly see your nuts ."
__________________________________________________________

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in his chair on his front porch .

"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she says."What's your secret ?"

"I smoke three packs a day , drink two bottles of Jack , at least a case of beer , eat nothing but fatty foods , and never , ever exercise ."

"Wow , that's amazing ," she says , "How old are you ?"

"Twenty-six
_________________________________________________________

I have saved the best for last, hey, what can I say . . .. I work with the material they send me!

Tommy Shaugnessy enters the confessional box and says , "Bless me , Father , for I have sinned . I have been with a loose woman ."

The priest asks , "Is that you again , Tommy ?"

"Yes Father it is ."

"And who is the woman you were with ? Was it Brenda O'Malley ?"

Tommy replies ,"I can not say ."

The priest pries a bit further , "Patricia Kelly ? Liz Quinn ?
Or was it Maggie Leonard ?"

"I'm sorry . I will not name her ."

The priest sighs with frustration . "You're a steadfast lad Tommy . And I can respect that , but you must atone ."

Tommy walks back to his pew . His friend Sean slides over and whispers , "What did you get ?"

"Four good leads ," says Tommy .

Another prize winner

John O'Reilly Blackbeard hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in Church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Interesting picture . . .

Wow . . . there's a shot you don't see everyday, some amazing stuff. Not only did the guy live and they re-attached his arm, the croc lived.

Here's the story:

Surgeons have reattached a Taiwanese vet's forearm after a 200-kilogram Nile crocodile chomped it off.



The male crocodile severed Chang Po-yu's forearm at the Shaoshan Zoo in the southern city of Kaohsiung when he tried to retrieve a tranquilliser dart from the reptile's hide so he could give it medication, zoo officials said.



The Liberty Times newspaper said Dr Chang failed to notice that the crocodile was not fully anaesthetised when he stuck his arm through an iron rail to medicate it.



A zoo worker shot the crocodile twice in the neck so colleagues could retrieve the arm.



It was reattached yesterday in an operation that lasted for seven hours.



"The crocodile was unharmed, as we didn't find any bullet holes on its hide," zoo official Chen Potsun said.



"It probably was shocked and opened its mouth to let go of the limb."



The 17-year-old reptile is one of a pair of Nile crocodiles kept by the zoo. Known as a man-eater because of its voracious nature, the Nile crocodile is listed as an endangered species, and is rapidly disappearing from its native African habitat.



Mr Chen said the zoo bought the crocodile 10 years ago from a local resident who had kept it as a pet.

The photo is from Reuters and here's a link to the page the story is on . . .

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Speedskater drops skates, sorta'

Speedskater gets nude to promote her sport:

BOOTS AND ALL: Kiwi speedskating star Nicole Begg, of Timaru, has had nude photographs taken for overseas magazines and websites to lift her international profile and that of her sport.

I'd say we need to pay more attention to speedskating:

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GM Futurliner

[GM Futurliner]
















[Sold at Auction?]












[A 1973 Fascination, Special Display]

Some More Bad Jokes

3rd Man to walk on water;

The 1st one was Christ:

The 2nd one was Peter, the Apostle;

The 3rd one was this guy Jose;


Here's this:
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer ? . . . . . . . . . . His partner .

Another:
"Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass and, as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

More:
On his last day of work , before retiring , a mailman is greeted by a beautiful young housewife who invites him in for breakfast.

After they eat she leads him up to the bedroom for an extensive sexual romp . Afterward she gives him two dollars.

"Jeez," says the mailman ,"this is great , but what's with the two dollars?"
"Well . . . . since you're retiring , I asked my husband what we should do for you" .

He said . . . . . . . . . . . "Fuck him - give him a couple of bucks." . . .
"Breakfast was my idea ."


Had enough?
A stranger was seated next to little Johnny on the airplane when the stranger turned to him and said, Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger,
What would you like to talk about?

Oh, I don't know, said the stranger. How about nuclear power?

OK, he said. That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?

The stranger thinks about it and says, Hmmm, I have no idea.

To which the little Johnny replies, Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear
power when you don't know shit?

Another mechanix joke

A penguin was driving across the desert toward Phoenix when suddenly his car quit running. With great effort he pushed it to the top of a grade and then coasted it into a small town. His luck was with him as the car rolled its last 50 feet into the town's only full service gas station/garage.

The mechanic greeted him and the penguin recounted what had happened. The mechanic was finishing up a job and told the stranded penguin that it would take an hour or two to check out the problem. Feeling hot and thirsty, the penguin asked if there was a place in to sit down, eat, and have a cold drink. The mechanic directed him to an establishment a block away.

Two hours later the penguin returned to the service station. The mechanic was under the hood of his car.
When he emerged, he looked at the penguin and said, "It looks like you blew a seal." Taken aback, the penguin replied, "Oh . . . no, I just had an ice cream cone."

More from Little Johnny

Little johnny's on the loose:
The sex-ed teacher draws a picture of a penis on the board and asks the class ,"Can anyone tell me what this is ?"
Johnny stands up and says ,"I know what it is . It's a penis . I know 'cause my daddy has two of them ."
The teacher is a little surprised . "Two of them ? Johnny , are you sure about that ?"
"For sure I'm sure ! He uses the little one to pee with and he uses the big one to brush the baby-sitter's teeth with ."


The little bastard is still on the loose:
Little Johnny was sitting in his 5^th grade classroom when he noticed a dog mounting another dog out on the playground.
Johnny immediately went to the teacher at the front of the class and said “Sister, what are those two dogs doing?”
Thinking fast the nun replied “Well Johnny, it looks like one of the dogs has hurt his leg and the other is helping him get home”
Johnny looked out the window again then looked back at the teacher and said “Sister isn’t that just the way it is – try to give a guy a hand and end up getting fucked in the ass!”

Time for some Bubba humor

Yankee jokes will be accepted and displayed in an equal time opportunity, basis, etc.

Kentucky:
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

You gotta love those Kentucky women.

********************************************************
Alabama :

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, Will, one of the visiting hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Joe?" the others asked..

" Joe had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," Will replied.

"You left Joe laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

" A tough call," he nodded. "But I figured no one is going to steal Joe!"

**********************************************************************
Louisiana:
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

****************************************************************
Mississippi :
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

****************************************************************
Tennessee:
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

****************************************************************
North Carolina:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. he man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."

********************************************************
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North!!!

Another Day, March 29th

Joke Time:

God finds a man whose faith is unparalleled and grants him one wish .
"Build me a bridge to Hawaii," says the man. "So I can drive over anytime."

God says:

"Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking . The supports to reach the bottom of the Pacific . The concrete and steel it would take . I can do this , of course , but it's hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things . Take a little time and think of another wish , a wish you think would honor and glorify me".

The man thinks for a while and says ,"I wish I could understand women".

God replies, "You want two lanes or four"?

Not enough? How about another?

Sam gets a parrot for his birthday . It has a bad attitude and a worse vocabulary . Every other word is a swear word.

Sam tries to change the bird's behavior with polite words and soft music , but nothing works . Out of desperation , he throws the bird in the freezer .

It squawks , kicks , screams , then falls silent . Sam , worried , swings the freezer door open .

The parrot calmly steps out and says:
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions . I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior ."

Sam is astonished at the change in the bird's attitude and is about to ask what caused it when the parrot continues , . . . ."May I ask what the chicken did ?"

"rimshot"

One from the gang:

3 boys in a schoolyard are bragging about their fathers .
Billy : "Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper , calls it a poem , and they give him $50."
Bobby : "Oh , yeah ? My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper , calls it a song , and they give him $100 ."
Ricky : "I got you both beat . My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper , calls it a sermon , and it takes eight people to collect the money !"

And another from that worthless bunch:

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya 'think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, . . . ."Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?!?!?!?!?!"

This one sucks, but AS thought it was funny enough to pass along:

50th Anniversary

On the evening of their 50th anniversary, a reminiscing wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on.
She went to her husband, a retired Marine pilot, and said: "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said:"Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember." "Well, what was it?"she asked. He was not much in the mood for this, but, he sighed and responded, "Well, honey, as I remember, I said; 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.' "
She giggled and said; "Yes dear, that's it. That's exactly what you said.
So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"
He looked her up and down and replied, . . . . .. "Mission accomplished."

So, what's he thinking?

Two Swedes from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on Dead Lake, fishing and suckin' beer, when out of the blue Sven comments, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

Ole takes a sip of beer and says, "You better think that over. Women like that are hard to find."

And here's another Golf joke from one of the scum-bums:

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for sex or golf ' ....... and she said, "Take a sweater with you..."