Couple of so-so jokes.

SEX AFTER DEATH....

A COUPLE MADE A DEAL THAT WHOEVER DIED FIRST WOULD COME BACK AND INFORM THE OTHER OF THE AFTERLIFE. THEIR BIGGEST FEAR WAS THAT THERE WAS NO AFTERLIFE.

AFTER A LONG LIFE, THE HUSBAND WAS THE FIRST TO GO...AND TRUE TO HIS WORD, HE MADE CONTACT,...

"MARY...MARY."

IS THAT YOU, WENDELL?

YES, I'VE COME BACK LIKE WE AGREED.

WHAT'S IT LIKE?

WELL, MARY, I GET UP IN THE MORNING, I HAVE SEX. I HAVE BREAKFAST, OFF TO THE GOLF COURSE, I HAVE SEX. I BATHE IN THE SUN, AND THEN I HAVE SEX TWICE.

I HAVE LUNCH, ANOTHER ROMP AROUND THE GOLF COURSE, THEN SEX PRETTY MUCH ALL AFTERNOON. AFTER SUPPER, TO THE GOLF COURSE AGAIN; THEN I HAVE SEX UNTIL LATE AT NIGHT. THE NEXT DAY IT STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.

OH, WENDELL...YOU SURELY MUST BE IN HEAVEN!

WELL NOT EXACTLY MARY...I'M A RABBIT ON A GOLF COURSE IN ARIZONA

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It Started Out

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my significant other about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunch time so I could read Thoreau, Voltaire, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, 'What is it exactly we are doing here?' One day the boss called me in. He said, 'Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another place of employment.'

This gave me more to contemplate. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. 'Honey,' I confessed, 'I've been thinking...'

'I know you've been thinking,' she said, 'and I am leaving you!'

'But Honey, surely it's not that serious.'

'It is serious,' she said, lower lip aquiver. 'You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!'

'That's a faulty syllogism,' I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. 'I'm going to the library,' I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with Michael Savage on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, 'Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?' it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non- educational video; last week it was 'American Idol'.

Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I took the final step...I became a DEMOCRAT.

Cat Attack!

[Courtesy of Yalta from his Flickr photostream. ]

Hey, hey you, lookie here . . .

[ Listen up Shitheads . . . ]

This is Artie speakin' and you like need to check out this really cool-ass site to make you're pics look old. Even when their not old.

Understand?

Well then get crackin' numbnuts.

How does it work, your askin'? Shheeeeeeejusss dumbass, put your image in the little whit box and then click the pretty baby blue box below.

Now I gotta go choke down a 40 . . . any of you lamenut pukes got a smoke?

Air France strip tease

VA-VA-VA-Boom in the cockpit . . . .

Well . . . .

A couple

NAG NAG NAG!

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him; 'What time of night is this to be getting home ? Where have you been?' 'Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured a shot of whiskey for himself and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said. To which he whirled around and screamed,

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?"
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Super Bowl
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the As he sits down, a man comes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No", he said, "the seat is empty". "This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the , the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it ?"

Somberly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first we have not been together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at the funeral."

Michigan's pwned

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Q: What do you call a Michigander who practices birth control?
A: A humanitarian.

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman in Michigan?
A: A tourist.

Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Michigan?
A: They lost the recipe.

Q: What do you call a Michigander with a degree?
A: A liar.

Q: Do you know why Lloyd Carr will only be dressing 40 players?
A: The rest know how to dress themselves.

Perscription Time

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not—you cannot have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Just Because . . .

[A.S. says; "I don't think wipin' is necessary . . ." ]

Summer

[bikinis]

[volleyball]

[coolers]

[Jessica Biel]

[Parties]

Give her a Hand

Pont Neuf Bridge in Toulouse, France.

This image has been sent in by "father of the sun"

Caption contest

[“Peter’s unusual physical attributes made him a hot prospect for the rural volunteer fire department”]

Memorial Day

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Reagan on Baseball

R.I.P. J. Falwell

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And then there's this one:

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And another:

Fishing Time:

DEEP THOUGHTS BY REDNECKS WHILE FISHING

Two rednecks are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."
Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then, thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

.

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More on fishing:

Cemetery in HDR

This photo was sent to me so I do not know who to thank.

Our Favorite Sport

The Gang of 6 has decided after very little argument that their favorite spectator sport is Women's beach Volleyball. As you can see above there are obvious reasons for this. Like the way teams are identified.












We are very impressed by the cheerleading squads that show up at some of the International events. Like this squad at an event in Switzerland, or somewhere like that. We didn't know there were beaches in Switzerland, but that's O.K.












We like the "ready for play" position of the players.













Another shot of the Gang of 6's favorite international team, the Brasilian Women. They all seem to have the appropriate assets for the sport. Here's to the finest sport on the planet. We just don't understand why it isn't more popular.

Bad Parking: