U.S. Pole Dancing

Hey Ms. Jennyne Butterfly is the winner

Drink up Now

Today we celebrate all things Irish, and we thank God for . . .

Guinness

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes and here is $250,000"

"Holy moses! Where did you get all this money!" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....I told you father, I became a prostitute! Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."

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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

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On the first Thursday of the month at 830pm a man walks into the pub in Dublin.

He orders three pints and proceeds to drink them slowly. One drink at a time from each glass until all are empty.

Next month first Thursday he does the same thing. As the barkeep is pourning he suggests ordering the beer one at at time to preserve the freshness.

The man pulls out his wallet and shows the barkeep a picture of three men. He tells the barkeep that the man on the left is his younger brother who left Ireland for the US two years ago to try and make his fortune. The man on the right is his older brother who joined the service and is "away". They made a pact to go to whatever pub/bar in their area on the first Thursday of every month at 830 pm (their time) and have a commerative round "together"

Well this continues for some time until one day the man comes up to the bar, the barkeep asks if he will have the usual. The man tells the barkeep to only pour two pints.

The place goes quiet, the barkeep gives him his beers and says sincerely "I think I know what this means, son, I sympathize your loss"

The man looks at the barkeep, laughs and says no, he and his brothers are all fine, its just the Lent season and he gave up alcohol.

Interestin'

Uh, errr, . . . I got nuthin'


And just because I've been thinking about Spring and gettin' close to grilling season:

Thinking of Summer

Wiring Help Needed

Hey, I need some help with my neighbor's system, it seems I can't get it to work just right.


This is something that is near and dear to my heart....can you help?


Your Technical skills are Required, here's a wiring diagram, plus . . . one more thing.



So . . . if any of you electronic gurus know how to connect a surround sound, DVD/VCR please let me know ASAP(or sorta take your time) but let me know, ah, er, because . . . .

The wife is really getting after me because I am spending too much time over at the neighbors working on trying to hook it up.

I'm sending along a photo of the situation so you can take a look at the set-up for yourself.

Maybe you can help, maybe you can't

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Hubba Hubba

A Fairy Tale

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said, 'NO!'

The guy proceeded to live happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

Nice Shot: 5

Another one from the bums:
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man
looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I
mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill
and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his
wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the
barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky.

He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him
off. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass
grill for one little weenie?"

Nice Shot: 4

Q.) Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex ? A.) They paint an "X" an the back of sheep that kick .

Q.) What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common ? A.) They both like a tight seal .

Q.) Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms ? A.) For traction in the mud .

Q.) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife ? A.) 45 pounds .

Q.) What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball ? A.) Guys will actually try to find a golf ball .



A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"

"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

The jokes are from the lame-ass Mud-Ohio Gang of 6, the babe . . . . . that's my contribution.

Nice Shot: 3

Nice Shot: 2

Nice shot:

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son....."Go get your mother."

Damn . . .

There are thongs, and then there are thongs, nice competition.

Naked Women . . . on the Rocks

An entire page of women on the rocks . . .

That's a Damn Fine Bathing Suit (2):

alt="chinese girl in bathing suit"

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