Drink up Now

Today we celebrate all things Irish, and we thank God for . . .

Guinness

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes and here is $250,000"

"Holy moses! Where did you get all this money!" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....I told you father, I became a prostitute! Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."

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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

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On the first Thursday of the month at 830pm a man walks into the pub in Dublin.

He orders three pints and proceeds to drink them slowly. One drink at a time from each glass until all are empty.

Next month first Thursday he does the same thing. As the barkeep is pourning he suggests ordering the beer one at at time to preserve the freshness.

The man pulls out his wallet and shows the barkeep a picture of three men. He tells the barkeep that the man on the left is his younger brother who left Ireland for the US two years ago to try and make his fortune. The man on the right is his older brother who joined the service and is "away". They made a pact to go to whatever pub/bar in their area on the first Thursday of every month at 830 pm (their time) and have a commerative round "together"

Well this continues for some time until one day the man comes up to the bar, the barkeep asks if he will have the usual. The man tells the barkeep to only pour two pints.

The place goes quiet, the barkeep gives him his beers and says sincerely "I think I know what this means, son, I sympathize your loss"

The man looks at the barkeep, laughs and says no, he and his brothers are all fine, its just the Lent season and he gave up alcohol.

The 8 Holes

-----The Big Eight ----

Here they are the 8 most massive terrifying holes on planet Earth, get sucked into one of these babies and that's it, game, set, match . . . In order of awesomeness.
Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa: Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons of diamonds before being closed in 1914.

Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California: This is the 'Glory Hole' at Monticello dam, and it's the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second (note: a glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir).

Bingham Canyon Mine, Utah: This is supposedly the largest man-made excavation on earth. Extraction began in 1863 and still continues today, the pit increasing in size constantly. In its current state the hole is 0.75 miles deep and 2.5 miles wide and covering 1,900 acres.

Great Blue Hole, Belize: This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There are numerous blue holes around the world, but none as stunning as this one.

Mirny Diamond Mine, Serbia: I'm pretty sure most people have seen this one. It's an absolute beast and holds the title of largest open diamond mines in the world. At 525 meters deep, with a top diameter of 1200 meters, there's even a no-fly zone above the hole due to a few helicopters having been sucked in.

Diavik Mine, Canada: The mine is so huge and the area so remote that it has its own airport with a runway large enough to accommodate a Boeing 737. It looks equally cool when the surrounding water is frozen.

Sinkhole in Guatemala: These photos are of a sinkhole that occurred in Guatemala. The hole swallowed a dozen homes and killed at least three people.

The Most Terrifying Hole of All:

This is the famous 'Rat Hole' that you've read so much about lately. It is capable of swallowing trillions upon trillions of U.S. dollars from the real economy each and every year. Most of that money is never seen again.