Wednesday, April 18, 2007

"Four good leads"

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap .
The psychiatrist says , "Well , I can clearly see your nuts ."
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A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in his chair on his front porch .
"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she says."What's your secret ?"
"I smoke three packs a day , drink two bottles of Jack , at least a case of beer , eat nothing but fatty foods , and never , ever exercise ."
"Wow , that's amazing ," she says , "How old are you ?"
"Twenty-six
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I have saved the best for last, hey, what can I say . . .. I work with the material they send me!

Tommy Shaugnessy enters the confessional box and says , "Bless me , Father , for I have sinned . I have been with a loose woman ."
The priest asks , "Is that you again , Tommy ?"
"Yes Father it is ."

"And who is the woman you were with ? Was it Brenda O'Malley ?"
Tommy replies ,"I can not say ."
The priest pries a bit further , "Patricia Kelly ? Liz Quinn ?
Or was it Maggie Leonard ?"

"I'm sorry . I will not name her ."
The priest sighs with frustration . "You're a steadfast lad Tommy . And I can respect that , but you must atone ."

Tommy walks back to his pew . His friend Sean slides over and whispers , "What did you get ?"

"Four good leads ," says Tommy .


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