Two or Four?

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and he was fitted for new hearing aids, that allowed
him to hear 100%

He went back to the doctor in a month and the doctor said, "You're hearing
is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will 3 times !!"
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Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are just fine."

"After all this time," she said, "do they have names?"

"Yes ma'am," the doctor replied. "Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thought to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!"

Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, "Well, what did he name them?"

"The girl is Denise," said the doctor.

The new mother said, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise."

Then she asked, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

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A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the
sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord
said,"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge
to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would
take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly
help mankind." The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he
said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I
want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives
me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says
nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"