Peanuts, Smokes, and Voices

A guy walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer and lit up a smoke, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie". Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty, except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar.

A few sips later, the voice said, "Beautiful shirt". Now the guy is getting nervous so he goes to the cigarette machine and starts feeding in money. From the machine comes a voice:

• "Hey dickhead...whaddya think you're doing?"
  
• "You probably drive a Volvo station wagon!"
• "Did you're mama dress you like that?"
• "What are you-some kind of pussy?"
• "I suppose you tell clown jokes?""Why don't you drink a real beer . . . ass-wipe?"
  

Not believing what he is hearing the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, then all of a sudden I hear a voice busting my ass, and there's not a soul in here but us."

"1st It was the peanuts," answered the bartender.

"Say what?" replied the man in disbelief.

"You heard me," said the barkeep, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary"

"Yeah, but what about the 2nd voice?"

"Oh man that cigarette machine is out of order"