Cowboy's:
Three men strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Calgary, while
awaiting their respective flights.
One is an American Indian, another is a cowboy and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student.
Their
discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners
learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation
falls into an uneasy lull.
Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly says, 'At one time here, my people were many, but sadly now we are few.'
The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, 'Once my people were few and now we are many,' he sneers. 'Why do you suppose that is?'
The Alberta cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from
the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl, 'That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's comin'.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As
he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well,
I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos,
fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning
my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I
guess I am a cowboy."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend
my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning,
I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch
TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems
that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
A Kiwi and an Aussie were sitting around talking one afternoon over acold beer.
After
a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi,"If I was to sneak over to your
house and shag your wife while youwere off fishing, and she got
pregnant and had a baby, would thatmake us related?"
"The Kiwi
crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head,and squinted
his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says,"Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even."
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Baptist Cowboy
A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and
orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip
out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar
and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat
after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas ,
we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for
myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take
notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second
round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I
wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his
eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and
I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
Three men strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Calgary, while
awaiting their respective flights.
One is an American Indian, another is a cowboy and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student.
Their
discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners
learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation
falls into an uneasy lull.
Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly says, 'At one time here, my people were many, but sadly now we are few.'
The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, 'Once my people were few and now we are many,' he sneers. 'Why do you suppose that is?'
The Alberta cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from
the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl, 'That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's comin'.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As
he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well,
I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos,
fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning
my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I
guess I am a cowboy."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend
my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning,
I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch
TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems
that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
A Kiwi and an Aussie were sitting around talking one afternoon over acold beer.
After
a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi,"If I was to sneak over to your
house and shag your wife while youwere off fishing, and she got
pregnant and had a baby, would thatmake us related?"
"The Kiwi
crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head,and squinted
his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says,"Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even."
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Baptist Cowboy
A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and
orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip
out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar
and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat
after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas ,
we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for
myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take
notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second
round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I
wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his
eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and
I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
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