4 More, for the record

Oh, is that so now . . . .
An Irish man is sitting in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman.

The first man says, “Watch this…” He gets up, walks over to the Irishman and says, “hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot.” The Irishman just replies “Oh, is that so now?”

The Englishman goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, “ Here, let me try that.” So he goes over to the Irishman and says, “ Hey man, I hear that your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot.” The Irishman only replies, “Oh, is that so now ?”

So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends.

When the third Englishman jumps up and says, “Well now, I gotta try that.” So he walks over to the Irishman and says, “Hey I hear your St.Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN !!”

And the Irishman replies, “Aye, that’s what your friends were saying."
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Moonshine:
When an Arkansas moonshiner who had been convicted a number of times before was again brought into the court, the judge told him sternly: "Before passing sentence, I want to tell you that you and your sons have given this court more trouble than anyone else in the entire state of Arkansas. Have you anything to say?"

"Well, Judge," said the old fellow, "I just want to say that we haven't given you any more trouble than you've given us."
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What's he Worth?
Fresh out of business school, the young accountant is being interviewed by a very nervous man in charge of a three-man business.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly, I am looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?"

"I worry about a lot of things," explains the man. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," says the young accountant. "And how much does the job pay?"

"I will start you at eighty-five thousand dollars."

"Eighty-five thousand dollars! How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," says the owner, "is your first worry."
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And Finally:
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 195 years old!"