Interestin'

Uh, errr, . . . I got nuthin'


And just because I've been thinking about Spring and gettin' close to grilling season:

Mickey gets an Award

Now that's how you accept one of those tootie-fruitee Hollywood awards.

Nice job Mickey . . .

Christian Bale works ATC

I didn't realize he had a 2nd job as a Air Traffic Controller


Courtesy of Bob and Tom

The 8 Holes

-----The Big Eight ----

Here they are the 8 most massive terrifying holes on planet Earth, get sucked into one of these babies and that's it, game, set, match . . . In order of awesomeness.
Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa: Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons of diamonds before being closed in 1914.

Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California: This is the 'Glory Hole' at Monticello dam, and it's the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second (note: a glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir).

Bingham Canyon Mine, Utah: This is supposedly the largest man-made excavation on earth. Extraction began in 1863 and still continues today, the pit increasing in size constantly. In its current state the hole is 0.75 miles deep and 2.5 miles wide and covering 1,900 acres.

Great Blue Hole, Belize: This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There are numerous blue holes around the world, but none as stunning as this one.

Mirny Diamond Mine, Serbia: I'm pretty sure most people have seen this one. It's an absolute beast and holds the title of largest open diamond mines in the world. At 525 meters deep, with a top diameter of 1200 meters, there's even a no-fly zone above the hole due to a few helicopters having been sucked in.

Diavik Mine, Canada: The mine is so huge and the area so remote that it has its own airport with a runway large enough to accommodate a Boeing 737. It looks equally cool when the surrounding water is frozen.

Sinkhole in Guatemala: These photos are of a sinkhole that occurred in Guatemala. The hole swallowed a dozen homes and killed at least three people.

The Most Terrifying Hole of All:

This is the famous 'Rat Hole' that you've read so much about lately. It is capable of swallowing trillions upon trillions of U.S. dollars from the real economy each and every year. Most of that money is never seen again.

Let 'em Do It

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Or 39 reasons to blow yourself all to hell.

Let us examine the lifestyle of these filthy slimeball dog-haters

1. No Jesus
2. No Christmas
3. No Easter Bunny
4. No Spring Break
5. No cheerleaders
6. No strippers
7. No television
8. No Nude Women
9. Heck, no SI Women
10. No car races
11. No Nascar!
12. No Danica Patrick
13. No football
14. No NFL network
15. No frakin' BSG
    
16. No soccer
17. No pork BBQ
18. No Bacon
19. No hot dogs
20. No burgers
21. No chocolate chip cookies
22. No lobster
23. No nachos
24. No Beer nuts
25. No Beer !!!!!!!!
26. No riding mower
27. No picnics
    
28. No Mescal
29. No belly shots
30. Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
31. Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
32. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
33. More than one wife!!!
34. You can't shave.
35. Your wives can't shave!!!!
36. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
37. Your bride is picked by someone else
38. She smells just like your donkey.
39. Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

Wouldn't you blow the shit out of yourself!?!?!?

Matter of fact, maybe we can help them blow themselves all to hell.

Your Gov't Laboratory at Work

New Element

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

LET'S DUMP 'EM ALL!!!

Lovin' himself some Seahorses

Knots, cups to drink from, and livin' the seashells and seahorses . . .

Thinking of Summer

Wiring Help Needed

Hey, I need some help with my neighbor's system, it seems I can't get it to work just right.


This is something that is near and dear to my heart....can you help?


Your Technical skills are Required, here's a wiring diagram, plus . . . one more thing.



So . . . if any of you electronic gurus know how to connect a surround sound, DVD/VCR please let me know ASAP(or sorta take your time) but let me know, ah, er, because . . . .

The wife is really getting after me because I am spending too much time over at the neighbors working on trying to hook it up.

I'm sending along a photo of the situation so you can take a look at the set-up for yourself.

Maybe you can help, maybe you can't

.

.

.

.

.

Wishing Hawaii

"Servicing"

I was confused when I heard the word 'service'

Used with these agencies.

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'


This is not what I thought 'service' meant.


But today, I overheard two farmers talking,
And one of them said he had hired a bull to
'service' a few cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those
Agencies are doing to us.

Now you are as enlightened as I am.

A Garden Story

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.

'They're mating,' her father replied.

'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.

'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.

'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted
her foot and stomped them flat.

'Well, we're not having any of that shit in our garden' she said.

Unbearable

AAA's

"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse.
In over twenty years, I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen.. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then fell laughing to the floor.
Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came
over me.
On my honor as a nurse , I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied.

Wow, Insanity, or Just Crazy?

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

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